Loved and Lost
by GRLover
Summary: Oneshot of Lily and Sev. Done for a challenge on a board I'm not part of, but I'm having such fun with this. Italic parts are directly from books and not mine. SS/LE light to dark


**exploit** a striking or notable deed; feat; spirited or heroic act: the exploits of Alexander the Great.

Severus looked around nervously. He wasn't sure about this idea. He'd asked Lily to Hogsmeade with him. Only Lily didn't know who it was. Severus was half sure she was expecting James potter and would therefore not come at the appointed time and location.

The fourth years walked out of the castle, and Lily was chatting with Severus about who she thought would be her mystery date. Severus smiled and said, "Well, I hope its not Potter!" If only his sweet Lily knew it was him. Lily smiled "I don't think he'd have the guts to ask me out this way. The mystery date left a note with a single rose, and a mask. Oh Sev, have I shown you yet? Its so beautiful. In Gryffindor colors. With red and black feathers on the right side!"

Severus knew he picked the right gift. His own mask, a blend of all the house colors (Gold and yellow being the same color, and blue and green working well with each other.) wouldn't betray his identity to anybody who might be lurking around to try and get ahold of his Lily through means of the Hogwarts gossip network. He wanted to make sure there was no mistake that it was he who set this up for his Lily.

They had been arguing a lot lately about who Severus kept around as friends. He kept trying to assure Lily that they were okay people, and that he wasn't going to run off and become a death eater. The perks of following the dark lord were great, but Severus didn't desire power, or money, or even the protection. All he wanted was his Lily, safe and happy.

The two split up at Honeydukes. Severus said he wanted some peace and quiet to think on some of his exams, and Lily wanted to get some sweets, then said she had to meet up with her mystery date. She pulled the mask out of her cloak and carried it around the shop with her, tracing her fingers on the gold sparkling pattern set on the red background. She eyed it in awe as she contemplated for the last time who her mystery date was.

After Honeydukes, she shrunk her packages and went off to Madam Puddifoots to meet her Mystery date. Before slipping on the mask, she took a deep breath and promised herself not to hex anybody if it WAS Potter. Upon entering she saw the beautiful companion to her mask. Decked in all of the house colors in one, making sure nobody could tell which house he came from, the person wearing the mask bowed to Lily and handed her another single rose.

Severus had enchanted his hair and appearance so as not to give himself away too quickly. The charms would begin to wear off around a half hour from then. He smiled as he spoke in a voice that he'd never expected to come out of his mouth. It was calm, and collected and confident.

Lily could swear she saw something familiar in those dark eyes, but didn't think too long on it as her mystery date ordered them 2 butterbeers and wouldn't even let her think about paying. Lily was enchanted by this mystery guy, and hoped he would reveal himself shortly. If she were being honest with herself, she almost wished it were Severus. Sometimes she felt a tingle of a crush for him, other times, usually the times he was there for her without question, she simply felt like he was an older brother, or a best friend. She was confused.

Severus saw her easy acceptance and decided that she hadn't figured it out yet. He breathed evenly and sipped his butterbeer. "So tell me, what are your favorite personality traits in a guy?" he said with a calmness even he hadn't expected.

Lily was downright shocked. Most guys that went out with her turned into sputtering messes by now. The boy had definitely gained her vote of confidence. "People who aren't James Potter." she muttered so low that Severus had barely heard it. He gave a snort of laughter at that. "Well luckily for you, I'm not James. Any guesses though?" Severus knew this wouldn't be blowing his cover. She'd never expect her best friend to take her out on a date as well thought out as this. It saddened him a little, but he'd never shown more interest than a best friend should.

A half hour passed and Severus' hair started turning back to its proper color. Lily noticed this. She'd felt there was something strange about the boy, but she never expected what came next. The boy stood up and grabbed Lily's hand, he led her to a room in the back where he sat her down in a chair.

"James potter's exploits are no less than heroic to himself, but I can tell you're not interested. I just wish it had been me you'd been looking at all along. Lily I've loved you since moment one. I've waited a long time to find the way to say this." Severus pulled off the mask as his full appearance came back. "Lils, I'm in love with you."

Lily sat there, stunned. She didn't know what to say. Severus admitting his feelings for her were like a dream come true. Could this be her knight in shining armor? Right now he certainly looked like it. Lily leapt off the chair and embraced Severus in a long hug before smiling and kissing him full on the mouth.

Severus was unprepared for this and kissed her back, stunned. He'd finally done it. He'd told Lily how he felt, and she accepted it. He felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest. He picked up his best friend and swung her about. No, not best friend, his _girlfriend _. Severus' heart skipped a beat as he took her hand and lead her out of the back room glowing.

+-1 year later -+

**Mudblood, Mudblood, Mudblood **The word haunted him all day until he couldn't take it anymore. He walked to the Gryffindor dorm and made it known that he was not leaving until Lily talked to him. One way or another, he had to tell her he hadn't meant it. That he'd let his anger get the best of him. He sat down not knowing what to do when Lily came out.

"_I'm sorry"_

"_I'm not interested" _

"_I'm sorry!"_

"_Save your breath" _

Severus walked away dejected. On his way back to the common room, a single tear escaped his eyes. He screwed it up. He went through all that hell, all that, _work _to get Lily, he fell in love, and he screwed it up.

-+2 years later +-

Severus stood outside the Dark Lord's lair, he'd made his choice. Actually, Lily had helped. He only declined the dark lord because of her. Because he knew he would have lost her for sure. Well, if he was going to lose her, he might as well make it permanent. The door opened.

"Ah Snape, I was hoping you'd join our little party eventually." came a cold voice from behind the door. "Come in, come in. I don't like to keep people waiting."

Severus dropped the mask he had been holding. _Incendio he cast on it. His past was behind him, burning in the night as he stepped over the threshhold to his future. _


End file.
